BELONG
A beer-pusher is currently advertising its drug using the slogan “belong”. The desperate importance of “belonging” is illustrated by film of a huge, swarming flock of birds; in the background plays one of those a chirpy pop-rock songs that seem to be 10-a-penny at the moment.
It’s a little cryptic, so I’ve hunted high and low for a translation, and apparently, this is what it means:
“Belong! It doesn’t matter what all this is about; in fact, we’re not even going to tell you. That’s not important any more, those days are gone. You just need to BELONG. Everyone else belongs, and that’s what’s important, isn’t it? Join the herd, you’ll be safe. It doesn’t matter what we’re selling, you need it because everyone else tells you. Don’t question it, don’t try to resist, and don’t be different - whatever you do, DON’T BE DIFFERENT. Don’t think, don’t question, just BELONG. Belonging is what’s important, and you can illustrate your belonging by purchasing the correct products. Everything’s the same these days anyway: it doesn’t really matter what you buy, so you may as well BELONG. Why wouldn’t you want to BELONG? Why on Earth wouldn’t you? It doesn’t matter what it is that you belong to, don’t worry about that. It’s like an exclusive club where all your mates are members! In fact, you’ll automatically make friends just by joining! Well, not friends exactly, but at least you’ll know who you don’t like, and that’s everyone who’s not in the club, right? So everyone who is in the club must be your friend. It’s obvious. All this could be yours, just by buying some piss-poor lager. Seriously! That’s what we’re offering. Membership to some nebulous herd of clueless people who’re waiting to be told what to do, what to think, what to wear, what to buy - people just like you! Now some people say that you could save money by not BELONGING, by not purchasing those special things that you need to show in order to BELONG. But where’s the fun in that? You work hard for that cash, so spend it! And what better to spend it on than BELONGING?”
Wow, that sounds just brilliant.